Monday, February 23, 2009

Where do we draw the line?

Taking into account the thoughts and experiences of those around us including family and friends is absolutely vital at any stage in ones life. Sometimes we may become so emotionally involved in what it is we’ve endeavoured in, it becomes difficult to take a step back and get a good look at the bigger picture, often missing things that would otherwise literally hit us in the face. This is where hearing, comprehending, understanding and implementing come into play. I would even go a step further in suggesting that even the views of those around us, our societies and communities should be taken into account in the thought and decision making process. Before everyone jumps at me, understand that I don’t mean we should live our lives by rules set out by others, I am probably the last person who would see it that way.

I’ve lived a large proportion of my life abiding by what others “see fit” due to circumstances beyond my control. It was one trip to Syria in 2007 which I believe was the beginning to my true venture into adulthood; my eyes were opened to an array of delightfully pleasant as well as painful droplets of reality. I realised that the world was not as simple as I had assumed and not everyone I met during the course of my life looked at me with the same sincere intensions as I did them. In a pivotal moment that was to shape the women I was to become (slight exaggeration) I came to the conclusion that people are so preoccupied with their own lives that they really don’t have the time to probe into mine, so why should I care about what they think at all?

Although I’ve swerved slightly off topic I return to my previous point, reiterating that I cannot but feel its necessary to stay true to ones traditions and cultures, even though society today has severely dented and redefined the two. This anyway was not the point of my writing today. What I wanted to say is that I feel it’s important, as I presume many of you will agree, to listen to those who truly have our best interests at heart. But what happens when what they're telling us contradicts what we believe in? I’m in a dilemma, should I listen to what everyone around me seems to be seeing, but I somehow have been blinded towards, or do I continue, where do I draw the line? I don’t want to be kicking myself in X months or years down the line, knowing I made all the wrong choices, but then again I don’t want to look back and think but what if I had done things differently?

I think the best thing to do is to live life one day at a time, after all what’s meant to happen will happen. I go to bed every night and pray for those I love then when it comes to me, I leave my fate in the hands of God. I mean it from the deepest pinnacle of my heart when I ask God to help me lead my life in a way that he alone see’s fit. I avoid asking for things or for the lack thereof in fear of their consequences because I know in God alone I can trust.

Sitting squashed at one end of the sofa in an awkwardly comfortable position, in my favourite Winne the Pooh pyjamas and warm socks holding a glass of cool apple juice and staring at my uncompleted assignment at 1.30am in the morning, I doubt I could feel more content. I don’t think I care as much anymore, and in doing so, I’m ready to face tomorrow.